Pouring Duties Call

As part of my quest to spread positive energy into the world, I have decided to write about a human I love.

Kristen Parker.

This woman makes my life, you guys. No, really. It's insane how much I like to be around her, and how I never get sick of her.

Kristen is wonderful because she sees the good in life. Kristen is forgiving. Kristen knows when it's time to go to bed.

Kristen is motherly.

Kristen can light up my day with her Beaming Beluskie smile, tell me she hates my shorts, eat all my otter pops and make me laugh until my sides hurt. And I'll just keep on wearing the shorts because that's how comfortable we are together.

Kristen is prepared.

Kristen is beautiful. She doesn't even know it. "Connor, am I fun enough to date? Am I hott enough to date?"

Yes, Kristen. Of course. Yes. Yes. Yes. You're just five-foot-eleven-and-three-quarters. And someday you'll meet some 6'6" man that sweeps you off your feet and is knocked off his own by the pent-up sexual frustration we know you have.

Kristen is selfless.

You know those friends that make you wish laughter were never invented so your abs didn't hurt so much? That's Kristen. She can get me into one of "those moods" where suddenly everything is funny. And suddenly you find yourself playing Credit Card Monopoly, and she's winning by $30 Million dollars and you don't even care because she's too much fun to watch.

Kristen trusts the Lord.

Kristen has taught me that friends can come and go. But friends can turn into family, and then it's ok to hold on to them forever.

Kristen reminded me that watching The Rescuers, and Rugrats, and Bachelorette because you simply want to is fine, because some people don't know how to do that.

Kristen helps me to never grow up. "Connor, when we go to Disneyland, we can be the kids that we really are inside", she says to me almost in tears. Kristen, there is no one I would rather spend three blissful, childish days with than you.

Kristen is interesting.

Most of all, Kristen has shown me that there are good people in the world. There are people that love hanging out with you. There are people that will come over and love your family as much as you. There are people that will come rip out carpet on a Sunday with you, because you need some help. There are people that will write you on your mission, because they'll miss you being gone, and you'll need whatever piece of them you can get for two years.

Kristen, thanks for being my friend. Thanks for putting up with my moods, and dealing with my pickiness and fiendishness, and the shorts. Thanks for being honest. Completely honest. Thanks for being trustworthy, loyal, and someone to look up to.

Kristen, I love you. Never change. Stay golden.